*Longer version, but please read.
The night before was a blur. I remember coming to, and remember seeing my aunts. Soon I would fall back to sleep and be awaken with immense pain. I looked down at my side, and there was a even bigger piece of tube rammed into my chest. I was confused. I thought I wouldn’t have a tube again, but there sticking out of flesh was what would look like the diameter of a garden hose.
Pains were throbbing all over my chest and lower back. I felt as if my kidney was about to burst. It was merely pain from the surgery, though. It was as if my nervous system was thawing out. The pains grew to an extent that I could not find the words to express, but merely groans took their place. I clicked the monitor for the nurse to come. I needed something to help this throbbing pain and sharp pains.
THIRTY MINUTES OR MORE pass, and no no one responds to me...the groans increase, my eyes glisten. I pray. I reminded God that I trust Him with this GRACE, and I needed it now. Soon, my best friend Mike walked in. I couldn’t tell it was him through my glazed eyes and anguish. I had hoped it was the nurse. I told him I needed her now. He darted away to retrieve her. She went and got me morphine.
I felt as if I was a druggie as she shot me up through my IV. My veins felt fire running through them, carrying a released soothing I would soon have, but not need. The doctor set me up with a Morphine system where I could just click a button and release it into my body.
I didn't want it. I didn't need all those pain killers in my body. After the first dose, I spent time with God about my circumstances. I prayed again, knowing his GRACE was enough for me. Sharing that all I needed was His peace, and I trusted his scripture that He would not put more on me than you one could bear. The pain that existed grew light, to the extent I could bear it. I knew it was Him and His GRACE.
The nurses would come in and complain that I was not using NOWHERE near enough of morphine for the type of intense surgery I had. I told her I would try to use more as fitting, but I could handle it.
And I could, and I did.
*Side Note
I'm not saying all meds and such are bad and don't take them. I'm saying there is times, when our bodies can heal BETTER, naturally, and in some instances, there is always another solution or mind over matter, or grace to be received to aid you in your time of need.
Some people will try to urge/push on you that which seems to make sense to them, that which is common and commonly received, but only you and God the creator of you, truly know...YOU and what you need.
I knew morphine caused the body to lock up in its digestion system. For those that don't know, I got diagnosed with a chronic digestion disorder that was first thought to be potentially cancerous, then thought to be crohns disease, to now merely a chronic digestive condition...
I knew my body, and what it needed, therefore, I rejected what they THOUGHT was best.
Continuing on...
My aunts and few friends would stop by for a quick visit to see how I was after surgery. Their love and comfort I greatly appreciate and love them even more now than ever. I am forever grateful for them taking their time to come and see me.
I had to keep my mother aware everyday, that I was okay, and in good hands. As you know, mothers have such a weird but beautiful sensitivity to us all. Her heart was shaken by my ordeal, as well as my family as a whole. But I tried my best to let them hear me strong, and that God was delivering.
My mother wanted to come and see me but tickets ran up to over $1000. My brother wanted to come with her as well and put forth great effort to come and be by me, but work situations and flights were also hindrances. My best friend was on a trip and put forth effort to come and be by me and was not able to conquer the flight situations.
I realized as I was spending time talking with God, that this story was a message of TRUST to my family and friends, and to you reading this as well. Trusting in God to handle what was not seen coming, and couldn’t be seen in such a sudden and crazy situation with my life. To go from these family and friends smiling and laughing, to a few days later, fighting for to breathe, and to live, was a shock to all. Yet, the overall ordeal, was not a shock to me. I told my one best friend before I left the east coast that I needed prayer, because I believed in my spirit while praying one day that I was about to go through some things when I returned to L.A. Some big things and changes. **Soon God would speak to me in GA before departure that He was “preparing me” for what was to come. I was up and ready.**
I didn't know it would be a collapse lung and stuck in hospital...but I had already begun to have faith and Trust in Him to protect and provide, TRUST and GRACE just SKYROCKETED and became so much more real than ever in my life.
It's easy to say great things about God and His grace and provision and etc, when you are on the mountain top. And some, don't believe in God and believe in what they hear of those on the mountain top...
But for those in the valley of trials and tribulation...see God in person, experience God's grace and character that we often speak of and hear. God is just as real to me today as before in my life, but the experiences I have had with him on this journey have be far more intimate and real than any other times in my life. Many want to be hero and the deliver, Most never want to be in a position to be delivered, BUT GOD personally delivers and therefore is in the delivery, and great is the moment to experience Him and His consistent love and FAITHFULNESS...
Does that make me super spiritual man now? No. I merely wish to share that God is who He says He is, and in the stories of the bible though words pushed and pulled through history, depict a consistent and forever true CHARACTER and NATURE of a Loving and True God that can be experienced, not just prayed up to with words and pew sitting.
He's an active in the life-type God, that desires to be closer to us, and active in our lives to reach and love others through such a trial-some world.
My life with God, has been far greater... than my life without him. Without him, sure great moments, but even then, and in my DARKEST hours, I was empty, spiritually alone, with a lost soul with no identity beyond what the human nature of man would try to stereotype me into—which was also, just a shell that would return to the earth.
I always knew life had to be more than what I could see. Many feel that way. Even scientist knew there had to be more than what met the eye, so they built means to look deeper into life as we know it.
And I believe as I have soul searched and passed through religions and spiritual systems that exist, there is a strand of DNA, a nature of God that exist in all of them, but in most, only a strand of the only ONE TRUE GOD, that once known, His Son and all that He is will forever change and empower your life beyond your thinking and dreams. He has mine. Start searching, and don't stop until you are truly spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally fulfilled. Some may think they already are fulfilled, but if looked at your life through an eternity lense, instead of just TODAY, would you feel the same? Does your life fulfill only you, and not truly anyone else? Are you just living life day by day, getting older and wondering what's left for me in life..If you desire to know more and my experiences, feel free to ask me via facebook or email:bradcole09@gmail.com
Our life was never created for just us to be pleased and enjoy, only, but to ehco into eternity with influence, impacting lives for God, for good, for ALL, permeating the world with love for another, no matter, the what.
Life, It's MORE Than About “ME”
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