I Got A Feeling

A Silent Collapse, A Loud Grace

As many of you know or may saw on the great social newspaper, Facebook, I was in the hospital. I decided that I wanted to share or rather highlight, some of the interesting moments from the whole ordeal. Initially, I wanted to document everything I could, day by day via video, to keep everyone in the loop. However, with much Morphine entering my body or the V drug, aka can't remember the name of the pain killer, I found it not to be a good idea to tape myself “high”.

Therefore, I have decided to just jot down some of those highlights for you since I am out of the hospital, and in stable condition. Brad, why do you care to share these highlights? Glad you asked, no one, because I believe they may shine a light on life in a way that just may help someone else out there who reads it.

I will start with day 1 and continue on. I'm not sure if can bring out every detail in one note, so I believe I will post more. Also, I wish to open it ALL up for questions because I want people to understand this level of intimacy with a TRUE GOD that grants a TRUE GRACE for ALL situations.

DAY 1. I Got A Feeling:

I definitely had a feeling on day one and it wasn't from the Black Eyed Peas bumpin hit song. I had only been back to L.A from a quick two week trip back home, to visit family and friends. I was JACKED and ready to get back to work. MY schedule seemed to be on point. But, on the night of Wednesday, June 15, I felt a familiar pain in my chest.

FLASHBACK:
I had experienced chest pains and shortness of breath after a workout about a month prior. The pains grew into the next day and I believed it to be indigestion because of some pizza. But the tightness was immense. My best friend said it was probably a chest cold because of the cold nights and that he had some complications as well, though, they were much not like mine. I took the word for it, and just went with it enduring, working onward as always on the grind.

WEDNESDAY, THE 15

This time, it was worst. There was some changes going on as soon as I got back to L.A. That added a little stress, and I was leaving to go stay with a friend, and then get back to work. However, the next morning after sleeping in my car, (explain that story later), I felt the pains worsen.

I eventually decided to go Glendale, a city I don't go to frequently at all. But, they had the only closest mall where I could check on getting new clothes from my store I like, and check up on getting my new phone.

I ended up going into this mall several times for different reasons. For some reason, I couldn’t get away from this place. Something either happened that I forgot I needed to do, or decided to just go back and get lunch, since I was there. This, ALL happening while these pains where in my chest and shortness of breath. I was assuming that this feeling was like a month ago and I just had to bear it. I'm a iron man COLE, sue me.

Oddly enough, I had to rush to the bathroom. Since I hadn’t made it anywhere else and was merely sitting in my car holding my chest, I went BACK into the mall.

This time, a man and a child was behind me going into the same restroom.

The father was having a conversation with the son while I was in the stall. Weird I know. It was a typical noisy bathroom, but I heard every word since they were directly in the next stall. He was telling his son about the time his uncle tried firing his gun. It didn’t go off, so he tried 5 more times, each time looking around the gun. On the last time, he looked down the barrel, turned it around and the gun went off. I was like...what a story to tell your child. But, it gets better. He tells his son the gun could have blown his head clear off. The kid responded in a deep awe, it was precious.

TO MYSELF, I'm thinking what a graphic detailed story this was to tell a kid. BUT, he concluded, “ Son see, this is an example of what I mean by Gods intervention in our lives. He prevents things that should have happened, from happening.”

The bathroom and its ambiance, as well as my stall grew into a quiet cave. I was astounded that THIS is where the story was headed, and such a timing that I would hear it.

I sat their, quiet, and immediately inwardly without thinking, I said Lord is there something I should know that's happening in me that you are preventing. There was no YES loud and clear, but I felt a presence in the timing of this mans delivery of story. And a moving in my spirit to MOVE.

I went back to my car and sat, holding my chest. I looked up a CVS on my phone sensing, I NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS FEELING, SOMETHING IS'NT RIGHT.

I found one, and drove there. I went inside, talked to the pharmacist, and told her my symptoms while holding a bottle of Pep-to Bismuth. She said, “sweetheart, you need to just put that bottle back on the shelf because your symptoms are something more serious that indigestion it sounds. You need to go to an ER, immediately. “ Startled, I told her I didn't have much money, besides, where in the world is the closest one anyways. She looked at me like was crazy and replied, “Honey, it's right across the street”.

I went back to my car knowing that something was up. I called my best friend and chatted about the matter as we had before. His attempt to help was great but the information I had to disregard. I needed to make the decision that was best for me, in faith, in full trust that God would carry this uninsured man into the hospital and all would be well. As I prayed to him, I realized I had much to lose and much to gain and that there was no coincidence that I ended up in Glendale ALL day, that I overheard a random word that I needed to hear, and that I found a random CVS that was located right where I needed to stop next.

I went into the hospital, feeling a tad nervous, but trusting Him. When I finally got inside, the doc came in and said Mr. Cole, there is a reason indeed why you are in pain and short of breath. Your right lung has been collapsed, and if you hadn’t gotten here, you very well could have eventually suffocated to death.

“ that's an example son of God's intervention, preventing something that could have happened from happening”


I'm grateful I trusted God. The events that he laid before me and orchestrated, I am amazed by. Crazy thing is, THERE IS TO THIS DAY NO PIN POINT REASON WHAT CAUSED MY LUNG TO COLLASPE. It's called a Spastic Pneumathorax..

I'm glad, I had a feeling. A feeling, a presence, I could always trust.

---To Be continued


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